Dragons and faeries and books…Oh my!

Ok…so I haven’t received any pictures of the panels I painted with the layout yet. But from what I understand, he’s not finished building the layout yet. So…I guess the final results are on hold until that gets done in the next couple of months. Not a big deal.

However, I was able to get another piece done. As mentioned before, I went up to my parents’ house over Easter weekend to spend time with my family. While I have my mother and sisters calling our five member group a FOO (Family of Origin)…I still simply call them my family. Difference between them and me? I’m not married with a family of my own to raise and support. So I got to see how one sister and her husband acted around each other during the evenings, and listen to my other sister go on about her husband and kids…and then listen to them both makes plans about family gatherings and such…only for them to look back at me and say something encouraging to include me on in the conversation. And I love my sisters for it, because I know they love and care about me as well; but it does remind me of how much of a third wheel I can be. A spectator, which seems to be my eternal roll in the scheme of life; which I’ve been happy to embrace for the most part.

I miss going out for walks.

So, while I had one project done, I had another that I needed to completely on a deadline; giving myself about two weeks to complete it. And while I had tried to draw during the previous time when I wasn’t painting, my inspiration and skills were working against me when I felt that nothing was looking right, and I couldn’t figure out a way to fix it. But this time around, I couldn’t let it get me down. While on the train ride up, I tried to sketch out an idea with the criteria of the image having a 2 theme to it. Even numbers…I was always taught that even numbers were a no no to an artist, but I wouldn’t make much of a fuss over it. I would make it work. It was based off of another picture I drew for him, though I have to say, this one is looking ten times better than the previous one.

Right…so…on the train I did a very basic…rough…really no detailed framework sketch of what needed to be in the picture; two dragons, books, faeries, and trees. When I even attempted to give it more detail, I think boredom from the long train ride (which was four hours late in getting into my destination due to some idiot in Alexandria who thought it would be a good idea to fortify himself in the apartment he was suppose to be evicted from) stopped me from pursuing the drawing even further. Well…at least until I got a decent night’s rest. The next day I got to spend with my sister, helping her clean the dance studio she learns and practices her Irish Step Dancing in, to which she then took me out for sushi for lunch, and then watch her practice. I enjoyed the music and the show, but it didn’t stop me from working on the drawing. By then, I had decided to simply go straight into inking it without the refined detailed pencil work. Straight from basic framework to inking. And I had decided that I was going to fill in as much space as possible…something I’ve rarely done when creating darks and lights with a ball point pen.

And I’m a firm believer that the ball point pen is not given enough credit in the art world. Seriously…you’ve got all these companies that make brush pens and microns and refillable technical pens, and teachers that show you how to use the pro-quill pens and ink dipping and sumi brushes and such…but a ball point pen? I think the one teacher I had that came close to using an alternative source than the ‘professional’ materials for inking was a ‘Hello Kitty’ fanatic who pulled out a Sharpie marker. And I know I didn’t appreciate his style of teaching much back then, but a part of me wishes I had taken him for my second inking class instead of the newly appointed head of the department at the time. As much as he was the guru when it comes to inking during my time there, I really hated his guts. I don’t know how I managed to pass his class, but I was happy when he openly considered me disturbed.

Anyways, I was happy to show my family what I was working on while it was still all in the works. I like to think it made my dad happy to see the work in progress, since it’s not very often anymore he gets to see what I’m doing. So, whenever there was a pause between Doctor Who episodes Dad and us girls were watching with him, I’d hold up my sketch pad and point out…”SEE!” for the three of them to admire while I bask in their brief compliments. The usual “Looks good”…but when I was finished with it, my oldest sister’s “I can’t wait to see what it looks like colored” gave me a great sense of excitement, because I too was actually eager to color it…but couldn’t during my stay because my laptop lacks the photoshop I use. I guess I could try installing it on there now that I’ve got a hardcopy of it…but with as slow as that thing is compared to my desktop…I don’t think I could tolerate it for long. Besides, my mother’s laptop is made for that kind of fun, with her touch screen that she rarely uses.




THAT LAPTOP IS SO MINE WHEN SHE GETS A NEW ONE! I’VE STAKED MY CLAIM ON IT! Commence battle scene between Kermit and myself, and input Dad’s insistence that if I were to ever get into a fight I would be deemed victorious, much to my sisters’ disbelief. Why? Though everyone seems to agree that they can’t see me getting into such a fight, he believes that I could most assuredly hold my own and my opponent would be regretting it. I don’t know…maybe it’s all the Xena/Hercules shows I used to watch…and the swordplay in the LARPs I used to play in. Go figure.



And of course, I digress. Nothing new there. What’s really nice about the ball point pen work is that I can scan it in as a grey scale image, change the format to color specific, and then change the tones and blacks to another color, which to me creates a nice unified coloration that is shared amongst all the other colors that are later introduced to the picture. Basically, it brings the picture together as a whole without anything standing out too much. And then using the right airbrush/paintbrush tools, adjusting their opacity to the way I like it, and I’ve got a nice watercolor-esque effect that I’ve found looks best with the way I inked the picture. Over all, I’m a happy camper, my friend is a happy camper…all is right with the world for the time being!



And as for payment? This time I am charging in with a tradeoff of my friend (who will be visiting me in the next few days) taking me out for sushi one of the nights he’s in town! HAHA!

Side Panels.

I would say that compliments give me confidence, but I have many friends who have told me how wonderful things look…only for them to find that I still doubt myself…basically not believing them. It isn’t until I get a compliment from whom it matters, such as the guy I’m painting these panels for, that my confidence is boosted. Why? Because I know from experience that when something doesn’t turn out the way one hopes…it shows. And that expression…intended or not…makes me feel like I’ve failed. And I have more than enough failures in my life that cause me to doubt myself a hundred times over.

But for right now, I’m pushing those aside. He likes the back panels, now that I know how to make it look, now that I’ve got the system down…now that I know that I’ve done something right…the side panels will go by more smoothly. Not to mention that their size is a lot small in comparison to the 6ft long background. I’m starting with the one side that doesn’t involve any background scenery at all. Just clouds and the foreground mountain expansion. How I loved painting the clouds earlier! I’m so excited to paint them again. I know you can’t see any of the detail in the previous pictures…but they’re a bunch of little squiggly lines! It’s so neat how they bring out the fluffy texture in them!




The one thing you’ve got to understand about me is…well…that I love the line. Not the straight line, from point A to point B in the shortest amount of distance. Apparently, according to an ex-co-worker of mine, I’m incapable of drawing a straight line, even with all the rulers and related tools because I’m left handed. And here I thought it was because I was just inertly a messy person, and such straighten and clean lines go against my nature. Boy how I’m ALWAYS wrong! Well, at least to him until I was proven right that Kokomo was performed by the Beach Boys and NOT by Jimmy Buffet! HA! Take that ‘Mr. Know-it-All’! …hey…I take my wins when I can…

No no no…I like my lines messy…thick and thin, squiggly and curvy. They reflect that natural flow of the earth, wind, water, and fire…none of which are EVER straight and to the point. Free flowing. That’s how they should be, especially when capturing and replicating bits and pieces of nature such as in this painting. I smile…and I feel at peace for the moment. Ah…enjoy it while it lasts…

The second panel, made for the left hand side of the layout, is still a bit. There are flat spots from the layout…which yes, with the back layout I had to deal with that, but in a whole separate way. Here, there are two flat spots…and blending them into the mountain is the challenge. I think it’s just a matter of making it look like it’s been cut off by the mountain. Hence…why the track wasn’t built to go any further. Yes. That’s what I’ll do. Commence affirmative nodding.




And now…I’m done. Next Sunday…hopefully…I’ll have pictures up of the panels with their layout! Before and after shots! Let’s see how it all turned out!





"They look great. And I love the clouds. I can't wait to get my hands on them." Oh yes...there shall be more ear splitting squealing.

A Sister and a Mother.

A friend of mind laughed at me last Sunday when I saw that Kermit had posted. He’s the eldest of two, if I remember correctly, so I don’t really expect him to understand how excited I tend to get when she writes, calls, or even just comments. There’s just a special bond between my sister and I that…well…I can’t really put into words, other than the fact that as much as I’ve learned not to idolize people…she has always been my first idol, and I can never stop seeing her in that limelight.

It’s her birthday again, and I’ve typed this up ahead of time because at this very moment, I should be on a train up to visit her, along with our sister and parents for the week. Our father had a heart attack recently, and we decided that we’d get together for Easter to spend some time with him. And before you ask, he’s home and his surgery went well. I’m under the assumption that he’s on bed rest or house arrest for the next week or two…to make sure he’s good and recuperated after…well…what was a terrifying ordeal for us.

As I’ve mentioned before, Kermit has a way of doubting herself when it comes to parenting. I remember when we were up for our grandmother’s funeral; she was talking on her phone to her husband about how differently our cousin’s wife treated their one daughter, as opposed to how my sister handles her four kids. You can already see the major differences in the comparison. I think what she got upset with the most was how patient our cousin-in-law was…and though I feel that children are infuriating and run my patience dry, I know that Kermit has plenty to give towards her children; or…at least more than I do.

And I love her for it. Whether she sees it or not, she’s done a wonderful job at being a mother, I think more so because she’s got such a wonderful husband by her side, to help her when she needs it. She’s not alone in being a parent…and I honestly believe she needs to stop dwelling on herself in that matter when it comes to her kids. She’s not alone. She’s raising them with Fozzie, raising them together…and she should be able to see how each child reflects on their parents’ personalities in their own individual way. Anyways…it’s a joint effort on both their parts.

Kermit, you’ve embarked on a journey that is one that I will never want to pursue. But…you’ve got the strength to see it through. We all have our doubts, and in your blog and from listening in on your phone conversations…because what else am I going to listen to until you turn on the wave sounds in your phone…your primary concern is how your children see you. Judging by the smiles on their faces, and the antics you post about…I’d say they see nothing but love for you and Fozzie. I know…I don’t see you guys enough, but I know deep down inside you’re doing a great job!

I love you, and I’ll be seeing you in just a few hours! Happy birthday, sis!

The Foreground.

I’m hesitant. A lot can and will go wrong with the foreground, primarily when it comes to the color and texture of the mountains and hill. I don’t and am unable to get the original model mountains here to make sure everything is right…and it scares me. I’ve got photographs of it, thanks to the gentleman who hired me to paint this…lighting can change so much between one place and another. So…again…I’m hesitant, but will push forward.

And it only goes to show the lack of confidence I have in myself. And in reading my sister’s blog, I can see there are times she feels the same way concerning everyday trials…raising a family for the most part. And yet, she has the awe inspiring ability to stand up in front of a large group of people to sing her heart out…something I can only manage to do as long as I’m hiding amongst a choir of other people. I’m deathly afraid of being singled out, the center of attention in front of a large audience. I remember peeing my pants on stage when I played a wizard in the Beauty and the Beast production for a small kids theater group we had; not to mention I had a hard time remembering my lines. From that point on, I’ve been convinced that I am incapable of memorizing anything. How I managed through a student written play during my senior year in high school is beyond me. I still don’t know how I agreed to perform it on stage, I would have been happier with a rinky-dink video recording of it.




But yes…I lack confidence in myself. The foreground terrifies me, and I’m scared to move forward. And there are other times I’m so confident in myself…I can’t figure out how to get back there. I suppose there’s just no forcing it on yourself…is there?

Experimenting is an important factor as well. Any good artist must be willing to experiment with their materials. Me…this is the second time I’ve used the aqua oil set I bought myself earlier to help explain to customers what it’s like. So much for that…I can honestly say it’s got the same consistency and feel for regular oils, but mixes well with watercolors and doesn’t require any of the solvents and mediums used to lengthen or hasten the drying process, nor to thin out the paint or clean your brushes. All you need is water. It’s refreshing in comparison to the company’s acryla-gauge, which is basically their solution to making acrylic paint less shiny/plasticy when it dries. Which is all fine and dandy until you realize that the glob of paint on your palette doesn’t remoisten after it has dried…SO not fun and a major waste of paint when you don’t know this.






I finally opted to go with a textured look…blending of colors to give it the right feel for the scheme, but not in any way attempting to try and match up the rockwork that will seem more detailed in the actual mountain model. Without the actual model here to compare and line up it’s the best I believe I can do. Besides, I would want more focus on the model layout itself than on the background, considering that’s the major work that got put into it by the man that built it! I even boldly went as far as to add whisks of grey into the background mountains…which I might add…helps to unify them with the foreground mountains.





But do you want to know what he said when I sent him these last couple of images above, to show him how I was doing…?

"The panels look wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm very pleased."

Commence ear splitting squealing!

Adding Grass…and Happy Trees!

I’m using too much water…which can’t be helped as my gauge and watercolor paints are all dried up and need water in order to loosen the pigment up again. And I seem to be having a problem in getting the shades and highlights right. It all just looks…muddy. I don’t like it looking muddy. It makes me think of my classmate’s project, back in my Painting for Illustrators class. He decided to do a collage of character faces from the Star Trek Series. I think mostly from the Next Generation more so than the rest of the shows. And his faces, especially the ones for the Klingons were…muddy. Ugh! There was no definition of high lights and shades in their faces…they looked bland and flat…and I’m afraid my plains are going to look the same way!

And using too much water isn’t helping any at all, because it makes it all look shiny before it dries, which means I have to wait until it dries up a bit before I can see how muddy it’s turned out. I know…a sign of impatience, and I’m sure there’s a lesson of patience to be learned here…which only makes me grumble and piss and moan to myself and random people who might happen to be online while I’m working on this. Breathe in…breathe out. All. Will. Be. Well.

If anything, I had to remind myself how to go back to dry brushing. It’s not all that hard to go back into, and I think that’s what I was trying to do before hand. Dry brushing is a very good way of making the grassy texture I was going for. However…it is a horrible waste of paint. If though you end up using small dabs of it, over a large amount of space…you end up using more and more and more and more…which can be very expensive if you’re not careful. So…for the most part, I’m trying to be careful, so I don’t wind up using more paint than I intended to. I think I’ll be mixing my base green up another five times before this project is through, though.

The more I look at this in comparison to the pictures of the original layout, the more I’m not liking how the mountains are turning out. They’re too brown…and not grey enough. I might just end up adding more white…more snow to them, as was seen in the original image I was using as a reference for them. References are key to making a good…plausible landscape setting. As it would with a cityscape and ocean view as well. It just…looks more real, more believable. I should definitely be fixing the mountains before I add in the trees.








And adding more snow doesn’t seem to be satisfying my dislike for the mountains. I had this problem when working on my dad’s submarine painting. I couldn’t get over something I didn’t like, that I thought wasn’t working out…and eventually gave up on fixing it only to find that…well…when you step back, it made the painting come together. So I’m putting my dislike for the mountains aside, and heading forth into painting the trees. Paint the trees, Cere…and you’ll see that it will turn out better. Trust yourself in this.

Heh…guess it only goes to show that I don’t have much trust in myself, huh? I should. I really should. I’ve got several other people, family and friends telling me how wonderful a person I am…how open and free spirited, not a drown of the ‘fashion/style/what’s new and wonderful and have to be a part of it like everyone else’ world…that I’m uniquely my own person and am more talented than I give myself credit for. And I’m overjoyed and amazed when someone values my skills more so than I believe them to be worth. Amazed…considering that most of the time I can’t get much recognition for my work. I’m not entirely sure why, though it might be do with my anti-social tendencies. I’m tired of the conventions…dealing with mass amounts of people…it’s the noise, honestly. I like peace and quiet.

And it might be why I’ve done better when I’ve picked up a commission during a primarily one on one conversation. Or a three way conversation…but either way…the crowd is smaller, and it is then that I get excited about the piece. My enthusiasm shines through more so in a quiet setting than it does in a noisy one. So…now…upon thinking about it and comparing personal experiences, I figured out now that though I might not be able to gain the recognition I might crave, or think that I want…but if I continue with just those personal conversations…one person at a time…then at least I’ve made a small step forward closer to being recognized. Heh…besides…aren’t the smaller things in life more precious and worthwhile?

Haven’t I always said that writing your thoughts out helped? Is anyone out there enjoying the chance to see how I make my revelations and help to bring peace to my scrambled mind again?

I did add trees, as you can see. But I didn’t get to type in my problems with them. My roommate had decided to occupy my computer by showing me Bob Ross’ ‘Happy Tree’ video footage…which made me laugh and reminded me of my high school friend that I had mentioned earlier a week or two ago. However, as appreciative I am of my roommate’s want to help me through my frustrations, he disrupted my routine, which made me more agitated than I normally get when I’m painting. Though…just looking at the thumbnails before I transfer the pictures from my camera to the computer…the trees kind of give a sense of depth to the painting…I think…