“You are Beautiful”…”You are Amazing”…

…are the two compliments I’ve been receiving rather often this year, thus far. Karper constantly tells me I’m amazing every time I send him a preview of whatever illustration I’m working on, along with a lady who occasionally shops at my job who goes about telling the customers around her at my register about how amazing my smile is. She gushes over the fact that she’s embarrassing me and proceeds to go on about how wonderful it is that I don’t brag or flaunt the qualities that make me seem so wonderful.

Meanwhile, I’ve got men who range from my father’s age and older going on to tell me that if they were younger they’d see to it that I was never alone. Heh. And then they’re eyes light up with astonishment when they find out that I haven’t just graduated from high school, that I’m much older than I look, and are even more amazed at the fact that not only am I not married, but don’t have a boyfriend. “My last boyfriend tried to turn me into a housewife. Sorry…not interested in that life, so guys aren’t really worth my time anymore.” And then a widower I talked to recently proceeded to tell me about how he treated his wife as an equal, and then recited his daughter’s story from the past few years.

I can honestly say that I enjoy listening to some of the stories I heard that simply started with someone giving a compliment….though I can’t full heartedly accept their opinions of me. Can’t say I ever felt beautiful in my life, or amazing for that matter. There are times I feel confident in myself, but that easily changes when a disaster occurs soon after.

No matter. Sunday, Travellar’s sisters leave my home to return to my parents’ house. They’ve been staying with me to recuperate from their surgeries; de-clawed and spayed. All three of them in two days; Fluffy and Shan one day, Trav on the second.

Strangely enough, the doctor gave me a pair of scissors to use/borrow to cut off the bandages from the kittens myself. I’m not entirely sure if this is a wise decision, and the work itself just gave me more justification as to why I never pursued a career as a vet, but with the help of Mother Karper and later my own mother, I was able to remove the casts and bandages from their paws and bellies.

I don’t like blood. I don’t like seeing mass amounts of it soaked up in gauzy material. (Yes, I truly hate my period with a passion and can’t wait to have a hysterectomy.) And Travellar’s paws looked like they had bled the worse out of the three of them. I’m sure I’m fretting too much over my baby, for her cries of confusion and pain her first night home just made me wish I could ease her suffering, but really there wasn’t much I could do for her. She was curled up in her carrier when I got home from work…and after removing her bandages, she returned there for the rest of the evening…still nursing her paws. I’m beginning to believe that she feels safer in there in comparison to the rest of the room, since it smells more like her sisters than herself now. Two against one…and they’re controlling the more desirable spots in the room…the bed and the dresser by the window. My poor baby girl. Mommy hasn’t abandoned you! She just can’t stand all the blood that’s stained your white gloves!

Fluffy gave me a kiss on my nose when I was lying with her on the bed. Then Shan felt the need to come sit with us as well…and they growled at each other. ^_^ Silly kitties. The vet says that those two are recuperating at a quicker rate than normal, considering that even with their bandages on, they were climbing all over the furniture. I’m certain the whole litter was born with strong wills, a ‘Never say Die’ attitude.

If anything, they were truly blessed. The Karpers found and sheltered them, and then the Reichardts came along and gave three of them a home. Mother Karper just beams with delight when she relates how amazed she is on how it all worked out…how they have such good and loving homes…I guess so few kittens in the area have such luck. Me…though I can’t say I’ve openly voiced my opinion on the matter…but I believe it was fated.

Besides the General’s passing and the poor sales results from the First Friday’s venture, I can honestly say that the path of my life has grown a lot brighter since moving up here. The Karpers have been a major influence to the brightness in more ways than one, and it feels good to find myself excited about some of the most random things again. It’s strange that a family instead of an individual person can make me feel this way, but I’m embracing it instead of shying away from it. I hope someday I can figure out a way of showing them just how wonderful I think they are.

The idea of the mother and son ‘fighting’ over who’s idea it was to invite me to the movies still makes me laugh in disbelief to this day. XD I love those two!