So Easily Discouraged.

Which is not something that my sister Statler wants to hear about, as she knows too many people who express the negative side of things so often that she herself is having a hard time keeping positive for them. And yet, I’m the same way as I convince my friends to vent it all out in hopes that at least expressing their frustrations will help to ease a weight upon their shoulders that simply listening is the only way that I can really help. Then an intense force drives me down as things start turning sour in my direction…



This month’s First Friday was a rather low blow. The past couple of months, sales had increased by a little bit, but with the lack of anything new to show and still no real interest in the character prints or comics (except for the two guys that want me to draw up their stories for them, which I’m still quietly excited about), I had a gut feeling that things would go well this month. I really need to listen to my gut feeling more often. One could easily blame it on the weather this time around, though I honestly think that last month’s location was rather ideal over where they normally hold the show. They tried to make it better by blocking off one of the streets to help deal with vehicle traffic…but that’s neither here or there right now. This time around it was rather windy, which grew to be so strong that it not only managed to knock my canopy over, but the display wall, easel, and table over. It was a mess…but on the bright side, my windows didn’t break. I lost a stein, which no one seemed to have much interest in anyways, my framed prints need to be cleaned up a bit…and after trying to set things back up again and helping my neighboring booth deal with her canopy and other things that had fallen, my stuff got blown over again. “I think it’s time we pack it up for the night.” We only had a half hour before the show was over anyways, and by the time we got home…it started to rain. I suppose the gods were just looking out for me and didn’t want my stuff to get wet, but did they have to cause such a mess?



I’m sure I wasn’t alone in being discouraged by the evening, as the cute blond guy I shall name Karper sat with me at my booth for a good portion of the show when people who were suppose to speak at his reading and discussion at the library canceled on him. We talked about it…he bought a couple of comics, who’s proceeds went to buying my lunch the next day at work…heh…that’s twice now that he’s paid for lunch. I really ought to return the favor sometime. Hmm…right, so then I got to meet his cousins, and when things just fell apart on me, he and his family helped to clean and pack things up. I attempted to read the first poem in a book of poetry he had left at my booth when he went off to chat with people, but I kept on getting interrupted by the wind; first in helping the food vendor cleaning up some chips that had tried to make an escape, and then by my booth deciding that flying away was on its agenda as well. For what little of it I read, I liked the point of view of the poem!



Karper is one of the two guys that want me to draw up their stories for them. The other is ET, who amazingly is unable to stay awake through the movie by the same name, and thus has been unable to see it in its entirety. The same movie that I cried through the ending of because I didn’t want ET to go home! ET has a great story idea that just puts me in a fit of giggles every time I look at the synapses, however…I’m finding that I’m having difficulty figuring out what the characters are suppose to look like. I don’t know if it means that my imagination is broken due to years of…? I honestly don’t know what the problem could be. The idea behind it is neat, and I think it would be a fun read…but…I have more questions behind the development more so than ideas of how it could look. I’m taking this as a bad sign. My dad suggested to just draw up something that first comes to mind to see if it goes along with what the guy wants…but I can’t even do that. I look at the list of characters, and then at the drawing of the vehicle he sent me…and everything just goes blank in my head.



But I’m trying to use such developmental inquiries on yet another project that my friend Keni wants me to write with him; a three book series on the adventures of two of our characters that we play on a game. But even this I found myself getting annoyed with because while he focuses on developing the two main characters (which is fine and important ), I’m trying to get him to focus on developing the world! I can’t think about what a plot or character might be if I don’t know what the world is like? What’s my character’s views on this…well how the hell should I know if I don’t know what this is?! Heh…but I went and took him by surprise by shooting off a bunch of none descriptive questions/options to him over text message while he was on a house hunting trip. From this, I’ve created the skeletal basis of a world for him to peruse when he gets internet access again. Here’s hoping I can get him to focus on that for a bit.



The lack of sales in my shops is discouraging as well, though I half expected it. I don’t have any ideas on how to cheaply advertise a bunch of products online, and the grapevine seems to have shriveled up and died on me. I should forewarn Statler of this before she has me painting anything wine related…out of fear that such ventures will look rather desolate.



Anyways…how do you like the random, old and new art that I have floating around on my computer. Some of them are projects I picked up from friends and family, others were just random things that I might do something with later down the road. We’ll see.